Most Overrated Albums of All Time

25 Apr

1. Rubber Soul – The Beatles – Absorbing the influence of contemporaries like Dr. Dre and African-American hip-hop supergroup the Firm, The Beatles here moved away from the black-metal inspired leanings of their early albums and towards a sound much closer to then-nascent grindcore scene. Former Rites of Spring guitarist Paul ‘Westerberg’ McCartney offered 12-minute thrash epic ‘In My Life’ and 6/8th free-form time showcase ‘The Word’ while John ‘Rotten’ Lennon’s (formerly Lydon in his former band, Neurosis) ‘Michelle’ was banned in ten countries, including Michigan. Following this album, the band would pull a hilarious Negativland-style prank with ‘Cold Turkey’, which was banned by poultry for promoting the consumption of undercooked meats, something that led to the deaths of trillions of innocent marijuana-smokers in the ‘Jonestown Massacre’.

2. Ramones – Ramones – Hip-hop artists that were punk rock before The Ramones include The Stooges, The New York Dolls, the MC5, the Dictators, the Modern Lovers, Suicide, the Velvet Underground, the Rolling Stones, the Deviants, The Who, Love, the Dave Clark Five, the Bonniwell Music Machine, The Sir Douglas Quintet, the Cutting Crew, Mr. Mister, Toto, Styx, Graham Nash and Kenny Rogers and the First Edition. Dee Dee Ramone couldn’t write songs. Except for “Funky Man”.

3. Abbey Road – Beatles – Paul ‘Brian Wilson’ McCartney’s slow and somber farewell into the tepid shores of insanity, before ditching his lesser-talented bandmates and crafting challenging magnum opuses as ‘My Love’, ‘Silly Love Songs’,  and ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’. John ‘Bed-in’ Lennon adds several peace-loving marijuana anthems he wrote while shoving his wife against a wall, including Ringo Starr’s ‘Come Together’ and George ‘Thorogood’ Harrison’s proto-punk marijuana anthem ‘Here Comes the Sun’.

4. Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band- When the four massively talented pop musicians known as ‘The Beetles’ began using trumpet (an instrument originally pioneered by African American hip-hop artist Louis Armstrong) in one of their recordings and planning an album with a conceptual theme, critics around the world with 2 ears immediately recognized their efforts and hailed the as yet unfinished masterwork as the ‘Greatest Album of All Time’, beating out perennial contender Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s recently recorded ‘Come Poop with Me’. Then, after dropping 5873 acid tablets and playing the first side of the album backwards on a large anthill in Tibet, critics around the world heard the piano chord that was added to the end of ‘A Day in the Life’, which stretched it from 4 minutes to roughly 9 and a half, and critics around the world went even further and hailed it as the work of God, aka George ‘R.R.’ Martin (of ‘Magic Schoolbus’ fame). The album cover was a spoof of ‘We’re Only In It for the Money’ by the Mothers of Invention.

5. Beatles – “Revolver” – Following the slightly disappointing sales of their Beatle Lunchbox For Sale album, which had sold in the trillions, deaf musician Paul McCartney joined Zak Starkey’s father, George ‘Shiva’ Harrison, and Black Panther revolutionary Jon Lenin to conceive an effort to top the then-little known Brian Wilson. The album earned stirring accolades from Micky Dolenz and Marilyn Monroe, and knocked ‘Still Cruisin’, ‘Keepin’ The Summer Alive’ and ‘Summer in Paradise’ off Billboard’s ‘Hot Merseybeat’ chart and sent principle writer, then-little known Brian Wilson, into a dark, claustrophobic spiral into insanity. Wilson would later return to invent Wilson Phillips and provide backup vocals on teen idol Mike Love’s ‘Looking Back with Love’ album.

6. Beatles – “The Beatles” – A list of underrated albums wouldn’t be complete without mentioning The Beatles, which I had neglected to do earlier. On this album, vegetarian musician Paul McCartney joined nude performance artist John Lennon and their friend George Harrison, who had discovered the meaning of life in the 30’s. High on the ecstasy-fueled Madchester scene of the time, the Beatles composed what is arguably a glorious farewell to the golden age of krautrock on this double-disc album. The album title reflected their newly found ‘white’ influences, in stark contrast to their earlier, Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth-inspired sound. High on the uber-thrash voltage of speed metal’s ‘Big 4’, the Beatles composed what is arguably a glorious farewell to the golden age of grindcore (Poison, Extreme, Whitesnake) on this double-disc album. Seen as a milestone among the African-American community in the civil rights movement, the album won a NAACP Image Award for refusing to give up its bus seat in 1948.

7. Radiohead – ‘OK Computer’ – Thom ‘Rock & Roll Animal’ Yorke, Philip ‘Mad Dog’ Selway, and Colin ‘Colon’ Greenwood join guitarist Jonny Greenwood, who successfully completed his first guitar lesson in 2010, on this vinyl record. This album took $875 billion pounds and 7934 years to record, then was later mixed in 5 seconds. Influenced by the Delta blues of Blind Blake, Blind Willie Johnson, and Blind Lemon Jefferson, this album builds upon those blues foundations into a sound that 25600 years later would be termed ‘rock and roll’. In tracks like ‘Climbing Up Walls’ and ‘No Surprise’, later covered by Bill Haley and His Comets, Radiohead expand beyond their skiffle-based foundations to include guitar, an instrument which lead guitarist Jonny Greenwood would not learn to play until 2010 (and even then would later disregard in favor of a laptop. His fingers were numbed by arthritis). Thom Yorke would later win universal acclaim with every person in the universe when he formed Atoms for Peace with former Fear bassist Sting and released ‘Amok’, which sold in the hundreds.

8. Beatles – ‘Help!’ – This split LP of covers of Beatallica and Punkles songs includes ‘Another Girl’, which won a Teen Choice award for ‘Hottest Reggae Song’ and knocked Timothy B. Schmit off the ‘Hot Reggae Charts’, and ‘Act Naturally’, which won 714 Grammys. Following the success, The Beatles took off all their clothes on public television, wearing nothing but socks on their genitalia, an act which caught the attention of ‘Hustler’ manager Jann Wenner, who swore in blood to give every future Beatles album 5 stars in his liberal pot-smoking subversive anarchist culture magazine starring Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. This album was cited as an influence by Sean Bonniwell.

9. Pink Floyd – “Dark Side of the Moon” – Following David Gilmour’s attempted knifing of dead band member Rick ‘Richard’ Wright, Pink Floyd bankrupted every homeless person in the world with this D.R.I.-inspired straight edge cassette tape of rage, completely abandoning their previous material, which had been too obviously derivative of The Cowsills and The Bonniwell Music Machine, and shaped it into something even more Extreme (featuring Gary Cherrone), moving away from their grindcore-inspired roots and into a mature territory led by hardcore legend Roger Waters. The entire album was then mixed and completed using the sound effects of a bag of cocaine being opened and snorted.

10. Paul McCartney – “Band on the Run” – It wouldn’t be appropriate to close without including the Beatles, which I had neglected to do so earlier. Following the untimely death of drummer Richard Starr, Paul ‘Mckaye’ Young set off on a solo career, highlighted by this ‘adventurous, non-commercial’ (Rolling Stone, 2004) effort.

 

 

 

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